Wow! What can I say. I'm still on cloud 9 from Saturday! Smiling, beaming, happy, energized!
Saturday, September 15, 2012: The day started early for me; 4am. I needed to be on the road by 5am in order to travel to Springfield, MO for the race. It was at the Springfield Lake Boathouse. I like to leave 30 minutes earlier when I'm not sure where I'm going. But, it was a breeze to find. It's a good thing because I left later than I wanted to.
I got my attire ready the night before so I wouldn't be rushed around. Checked the weather; called for partly cloudy and misty skies. But a towel never crossed my mind. Threw in extra set of comfy clothes to change into when finished. Well, the weather was WAY OFF! It was kind of misty and cloudy when I left home. But the closer I got to Springfield the heavier the rain got. I remember laughing out loud to myself in the car and saying, "oh great!" But hey, I've always wanted to have a good walk/run in the rain.
I walked into the boathouse and everyone around were slim athletes. But I'm still thinking "I got this!" However I knew at that moment I'd probably come in last; especially when they told us about the course! OH MY GOODNESS......HILLS! I'll fast forward to line up. We were all getting lined up and I knew by my company I definitely needed to find myself a spot near the back of the pack. We're standing there, my nerves are beginning to talk....they were saying oh my gosh Lindsay I can't believe you're doing this and I was answering back I can't either! Not out loud conversations here. Didn't' want anyone to think I was crazy! LOL And there it was, the sounds I never in a million years thought I'd hear with me being apart of it.....Runners, on your mark, get set, GO! Followed by the sound of the air horn. Here we go! The sound of feet pounding through the water; splash splash. May have even heard my heart a little, too.
The first 2/3 of the race was almost entirely uphill. There were a few downhills in there, too. Hills, let me just say, are my weakness. Not to mention it was pouring down rain and the trail was slicker than snot! I won't lie and say I never wanted to quit. The thought did cross my mind at one point, but I carried on. I knew I would be so mad at myself if I let fear conquer me. So I just said "Lord, You're going to have to please carry me up this hill." Yes, I said it out loud...why not? No one was anywhere near to hear me. I was out there by myself. But oh what soul searching and mind cleansing I did. As the other runners began to quickly go out of my view I just said, "Lord, it's me and You."
There were so many thoughts going through my mind. My body hurt. I was cautious with every step because it was so slick. I was freezing, but hot at the same time. My clothes were heavy and weighing me down from the rain. I thought at one point it was good for my clothes to be wet...reminded me of the weight I've lost and how I do not want to be carrying that around anymore! My clothes were sticking to me too; oh how I dislike that! My mind was racing faster than my body was I think. It was still saying I can't believe you're doing this. Near the end of the race I remember thinking about how long I had been out there. It felt like an eternity. Every volunteer I passed at a trail turn I remember thinking, "oh, I'm the slow one making them have to stand out here in the rain waiting on me." But they were so kind, saying good job and telling me thank you for doing this to support the ranch.
The last volunteer I met I asked how much further and he told me I was 2/3 there. WOOHOO I'm going to nip this thing in the bud! By that time the trail was starting to taper off to short little hills and the ground was beginning to level a little. I had told my friend before the race he better be out there waiting for me to cross. I was wondering how long he had been finished and how long he'd been waiting on me...in the rain. I come out of the last little bend and valley and much to my surprise....there he was! He had finished his race and came back to meet me to finish with me. I think the sunbeams were shining on me the rest of the race because I was beaming! That meant so much to me. He was mouthing something to me and I just kept saying, "I'm coming okay." Then he told me I had this, I was almost finished, the finish line is just around the corner and down a little ways. So we finished together. I only hoped he'd be there waiting on me to finish. What I go was so much better! Just before the finish line he reached out to grab a high-five and congratulated me on my completion.
I may have finished today's race last, but I had so many personal "fear" victories in this day. One, I signed up for something and finished it; not just anything, a 5K. Two, I walked into a boathouse with my head held high knowing I could do this and didn't let the 'athlete' card intimidate me into quitting. Three, I feel like I conquered the fear of coming in last! Four, I FINISHED!!! I crossed that finish line with a smile on my face knowing I had completed something that was the steps in the right direction toward my future; HEALTHY! I was and am so incredibly happy.
Great day! Awesome day! Excellent day! Ready for more :)
Until next time . . . Run for life!
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