Thursday, June 30, 2011

I'm a Lightning Bug . . . metaphorically speaking!

I spend a lot of time porch-sitting; especially this time of year.  I enjoy listening to the creatures around me; i.e. whippoorwills, owls, crickets, cicadas, deer, and the list goes on.  I catch myself in these moments with my eyes transfixed on the sky.  The night sky is so fully of twinkles.  Once I'm fixed with my eyes on the heavens I find myself getting into conversations with God.  I enjoy conversing with Him :)  Of course my porch sitting would not be complete without my pup!  Jasper is usually close by; either chewing on my arm, laying up next to me or stretched out in the yard waiting for me to go inside so he can high-tail it to mom and dad's!

As most of us know this is the season of the lightning bugs.  I get so excited seeing the first signs of twinkles usually in March.  I love watching them dance around and seeing their different 'blinks'.  They are night time nature paparazzi!  Now, I don't know the purpose of lightning bugs other than to give us a pretty show in the spring/summer night skies.  I have always heard they blink to find a mate.  Each twinkle is different.  Some are steady paced, some are really fast, others have a slow and constant twinkle; all unique.  Just like people. 

In April and May the skies are usually filled the twinkles.  They are all scrounging around to find their mate I guess.  Needless to say their options are plentiful.  On about this time of year (late June) the twinkles become less and less.  You'll still see solo twinkles here and there. 

Ok, so how is this a metaphor?  And how am I like a lightning bug?  Well, remember a paragraph or two above we talked about them twinkling to find a mate, lots of options, now they're solo.  As I was doing some porch sitting the other night I found myself feeling like that lone lightning bug twinkling out there and not another lightning bug was around reciprocating their twinkle; they are single!  Not that that's a bad thing.  It just struck me as funny.  While all the others have gone off and gotten married and now have children, I'm still out there patiently waiting for that other lightning bug to reciprocate my twinkle. 

So, I'm that twinkle you see who's still out there when all the others are gone for a season.  I'm waiting on another twinkle in the distance.  I just go on twinkling and living my life.  If not this year, there's always lightning bug season next year! 

Until next time . . .

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Days you think about, but never want to get here :(

This is a bit of a somber posting today as I sit and reflect on memories.  When you're a little girl and you hear of older people going into nursing homes you never think your grandparents as old. Therefore, you never think they'll have to go.  Well, the time has come.  I have one grandparent still here with me; my dad's mother - my Grandma Bertha who is 90 years young.

A little history:  My mom's mother (Hazel) passed away 5/6/88 when I was nine, dad's father (Leemon) passed 12/19/94 when I was 15, and mom's father passed 9/8/95 (Lue) when I was 16.  Goodness, seems like forever ago.  I still remember the last time I saw each of them before they went home to live with Jesus forever.  Shortly before Gma Hazel passed she took me to the back of the house by myself and gave me a little blue porcelain elephant; still have it and treasure it to this day.  She made me a new dress or two for every occasion as well as birthday cakes.  And boy could she make the pies.  Her pie crust was so good it would make you slap your momma!  Gpa Leemon was a man like no other; kind, whitty, always smiling.  Hmm, maybe that's where I get the smilies :)  I still look back and am very thankful mom and dad let me 'skip' school to spend time with him during his last days.  He was in the hospital 60 something days before he left us.  So thankful.  Oh, and Gpa Lue . . . what a corker!  He accepted the Lord when I was a little girl.  Still remember going to his baptism at the creek.  I remember being so happy that he accepted Jesus.  He would visit us frequently to go to 'singins' at various churches.  I usually went along with him.  I'll never forget how he greeted me EVERY TIME he saw me . . . his first words were, "Watcha been up to Puddin Head?"  Oh, the memories.

Bertha Collins - on her 90th birthday (2010)
All this brings me to my Gma Bertha.  She's the grandma you never thought would be old.  Her memory has failed her a lot over the last several months.  She's still pretty sharp though at some things!  You can't get much past her.  One thing that has always remained true is her love for the Lord.  She tells everyone she sees that the only way she's lived alone since Gpa Leemon passed is because the Lord has been with her.  She has said everyday of her life and every time I've been in her presence, "boy my nose itches!"  I even recorded her saying that...so if you're ever around me when I get a text message you'll hear her saying that :)

my granny and me on her 90th birthday (2010)

 Effective last week the Dr ordered her to not be home by herself anymore.  With most of the kids living in Dora the only option had to be put into practice; nursing home.  She came home with my parents last week and spent much of the week with them as her room was prepped.  Thus, I got to spend my evenings with my granny :)  She even got to go to church with us on two Sundays.  That was special :)  So this past week Gma has gotten to go check the cows, attend church, pray with us, laugh with us, help us put the pool up (she was the foreman - lol), and ride the four wheeler!  All memories that will forever be tucked in our hearts.
my granny just before her 90th birthday (2010)
she and my grandpa always kept he prettiest yard and flowers :)

Now she has started a new chapter and we must start this chapter with her.  She moved to the nursing home Monday, June 20, 2011.  What a hard day.  What makes this new stage in life a little easier is knowing that she will be well cared for.  But, I have to admit it's a little weird for me to think she's there and not sitting in her house where she has always been during my 32 years of life.  So yes, I'm a bit sad :(  I'm sad that even though she's still with us we'll probably never again have family gatherings at the house I grew up knowing was my grandparents'.  I'm sad that she has to be in a place she's not familiar with; even though it's the best thing for her.  I'm sad that she doesn't understand why she can't go home.  But, I'm happy that she still knows, despite the fact that her memory is failing, her loving Lord! 

Over the last few months as my family has been going through things concerning my grandma there have been certain things come into better perspective.  As long as we're here on this earth our family and friends need to know how much we care about them.  So, if I've been a little more emotional or dramatic (as my mother puts it) lately now you know why.  My friends reading this . . . I hope you know just how much I cherish our friendship.  It's those friendships that get us through this life and help make times like this a little easier.

I'm going to wrap it up by saying this . . . during your prayer time please remember my grandma as she transitions and learns to live this new lifestyle.

Thanks friends!

Until next time . . .

Monday, June 20, 2011

Pupiversary :)

One year ago today this (at the time, three months old) bundle of furr came pouncing into my life.  And nothing has been the same since!  I can honestly say life has been sweeter with my pup in it.  You say, "he's just a dog, Lindsay."  That he is, but he's very special.  He makes me laugh, cry, smile, and yell from time to time.  Boy has this little feller made me angry a time or two!  Let's just say he loves to chew, gets bored occasionally and destroys things that don't belong to me.  lol  But most of all, Jasper has brought me such joy.  He's my puppy.  He knows I love him :)  Anyway, these are just a few of the many pictures I've taken of Jasper this year. 

Until next time . . .

the first picture :)

Jasper - June 20, 2010

Jasper learns to sit on command :)
It was so cute how he'd get all excited and plop down on the ground!

Jasper's first tractor ride

He's beginning to loose that puppy face

Jasper and his boys getting a tasty snack :) 
They sit without being told if they hear the words, "You wanna bite?"
A 'bite' being a yummy snack

Jasper LOVES water.  He's in it morning, noon and night; even in the dead of winter!

Jasper and I sharing our favorite spot; an evening on the porch :)

when I got him he barely took up half the step, now he takes up the whole thing!

where that four-wheeler and my dad goes Jasper is there also :)
Jasper and his best pal, Tucker :)

Jasper - June 2011

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Arrgg, my mind....wilt thou leavest me alone!

Now, before you read this I must say....I'm not throwing myself a pity party, I don't feel sorry for myself, and I don't think life has dealt me a bad hand.  I'm just simply stating a few things! :)

I have this bad habit...one that I keep thinking, with prayer, will go away never to resurface.  It's a habit that I don't have a clue of it's origination.  God is my provider and in Him I truly trust so I don't know why this habit ever surfaces!  My cup runneth over most of the time and if it's not it's half full, but never half empty.  I'm not gloating or boasting, I just know that I know that I know that God IS who He says and He DOES more than enough for me.

I'm an extremely happy person who feels so blessed in her life.  I love God, and desire to serve Him to the best of my abilities.  I have a loving family who cares deeply for me.  I have great friends whom I can talk to about anything, laugh with, joke with, and irritate from time to time.  I have a fabulous dog, named Jasper whom I ADORE!!  He's my baby :)  I even got teary eyed last night (and as I type this) thinking about the lifespan of a lab (7-9 years) and already know how much I will miss him!  I have so much that fills my life with goodness; God, a good job, family, friends, roof over my head, and an awesome support system in my church.

But, never fails...every 3 to 4 years (since I've been out of high school and on my own) I have this terrible habit of being bored with my life and having no clue what or where I'm supposed to be.  Usually during these times I am very spontaneous, or I am easily angered (so unlike me), or I do stupid stuff, or I pick up and move.  This state of mind is very unsettling and it DRIVES ME CRAZY!

Let's have a break down:
  • 1997 graduated high school
  • 1998 moved to Mtn. Home w/college roommates, two semesters later in 1999 I move back home, college roommates transferred
  • 2000 moved back to Mtn. Home into an apartment...that same year had to move because apartment mgr said I was going & doing too much running when I should be saving money!
  • 2000 bought my first little home (cutest little mobile you ever saw!) and stayed in Mtn. Home, even changed my residency to Arkansas.  I know, I was a traitor to my Missouri roots :)  hahaha
  • 2002 proposed to right before Thanksgiving and he left me a month later to marry some other chick! Don't even get me started!
  • 2003 just up and decided I wanted to sell out and move home, in with my sister, so I could go back to college and finish
  • 2006 yes...took me 9 years, but I finally graduated with my Bachelor's degree
  • 2007 finally decided that it was time for me to be in my own home again, so I bought my second cute little mobile home - this is where I currently reside and someone needs to buy it because it's a dandy little house!
  • 2011 very fortunate to have the opportunity to purchase a place where I've always wanted to live - will be moving there in a few months
  • In between those years I had four different jobs; the fourth one is where I'm at now and plan to be for a very long time; Lord willing of course!  I'm very settled in the career field.  I lurve my job :)  But the life field, uhhhh not so much!
**goodness, no wonder I don't remember what I did during those years....I was moving all the time!  oh yes, my lovely mother who I love so much reminds me how many times they've helped move me in my adult years!** 

So, in case you're wondering, it's been 4 years this August since I moved the last time, as you can see by the rough timeline.  This spontaneous, bored, and unsettled state of mind has once again resurfaced.  This time it was weird though.  Usually it slowly creeps in and is a slow process to surface.  This time something sparked it and ignited it like a wildfire....causing it to hit me like a ton of bricks!  I'm happy with life so I haven't a clue why I'm so unsettled and why it comes around every 3 or 4 years.  I sure hope this routine isn't like the 7 or 13 or 17 year cicadas..whichever it is..because their buzzing, like the state of mind I'm in, is very annoying!

I keep thinking, if I were married and had children would I get tired of them after 3 or 4 years and just want to pick up and move on?  Scary thought if you ask me.  Truth be known and if I wanted to be 110% honest with myself....that there very sentence is the missing part, I think, to my life.  That's what I think sparks my feelings of unsettledness and boredom.  I have more in my life than I ever wanted except that.  God and I have this talk frequently when I'm praying for my soul mate; wherever he is.  I tell Him I know I'll still love Him and be happy if that piece is not apart of the life plan He designed for me.  I will...but I have to learn how to let Him help me get through these boredom stages in my life.  But, I also have faith that God didn't create me to be single.  He did create me to find my independence; which I have and I needed to find it desperately.  I believe and know there is a God-loving hunky feller out there searching for me.  He's having a hard time finding me.  Probably because I live in the middle of nowhere and work in the retirement mecca of the world!

There are few things that stress me out.  But this, this is the biggie!  This gets me down.  This makes me cry.  This makes me mad.  This makes me wonder why this piece of my life has to be so hard.  This also makes me cling to God more, too :)

Arrgg, my mind!  Thanks for letting me unload my crazy thoughts on you today.  I'm not desperate, by no means.  If I were, I could have already snatched up a couple two or three scuzzos! Not being judgmental, but you all know people who fit that scuzzo description. hahaha  I would just love to go on a date.  Even though the relationship of 2002 was a very hard time for me, I so miss going on dates.  I miss someone to talk to who's not my sister, my parents or my girlfriends.  I miss someone opening the door for me and pulling out the chair for me to miss as I'm sitting down! Hahaha oh dear me!  I miss some one holding my hand and guiding me through a crowd :)  And yes, I miss someone treating me as if I'm the only person in the world when they're staring into my eyes and telling me they love me.  I know, gag right!

Until next time . . .

Monday, June 6, 2011

Ah, the joys of sunshine!

So, the sun has been shining a lot lately; brightly and rather hot I might add.  It's a dramatic difference from what we were seeing in April when we received something like 20 inches of rain in a six week period.  Our watershed (the lakes) are still recovering from all this rain.

Anyways . . . all this sunshine and hot weather has got me to craving one thing I only crave in the summertime . . . SUN TEA!!!  So, I got me a new jug Friday evening.  And come Saturday my tea was cooking away!
the beginning . . . cooking!
like my new red polka-dotted jug :)

Let me back up just a bit to the part after getting a new tea jug and cooking the tea.  I thought I had tea bags in the cabinet.  Oh, I was wanting sun tea so bad, but couldn't find it!  I searched and I searched; finally finding eight bags of Lipton Green Tea.  I thought, "what could it hurt to try?"  So on to sun cooking my tea goes.


Finally, after letting the bright sunshine cook me a jug of tea, it is finished.  I pour a glass, not knowing really how sun baked green tea was going to taste.  Oh my goodness!!!  Much to my surprise I like sun baked green tea much better than regular tea!  It is my new crave; my new obsession; I would love a big glass right now!
it is finished . . . and it's GOOD!!!
**note** green tea doesn't cook as dark as regular tea

If you like sun tea I recommend you try it.  It's oh so good and full of nutritious antioxidants!

Until next time . . .